{"id":3039,"date":"2024-02-04T09:31:38","date_gmt":"2024-02-04T07:31:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.connect2us.eu\/verhalen\/the-efteling\/"},"modified":"2024-09-30T15:54:35","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T13:54:35","slug":"the-efteling","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/stories\/the-efteling\/","title":{"rendered":"The Efteling"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Hanan is organizing a children’s party at the Efteling for her little daughter Dilan, whose birthday was last week.\nThis is Hanan and her family’s fourth summer in the Netherlands, and this seemed like a great opportunity to celebrate.\nThey live near the Efteling.\nOn the invitation, Hanan asked all the children to gather in front of the entrance.\nShe had ordered the tickets earlier and they are ready to go. <\/p>\n\n

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Anna comes to bring Fleur.\nThe latter brings a beautiful balloon and a present.\nThe girls hug each other.\nAnna asks Hanan what time she can pick up Fleur again and grabs her purse.\n“How much do you get from me for the ticket? Or will you send a ticker?” <\/p>\n\n

Anna is startled.\n“I invited Fleur to the children’s party because it’s a party!”, she thinks. “But will Anna reimburse the ticket, how strange! After all, it’s our treat…. otherwise I wouldn’t have invited her, would I?”\nShe is a little offended, but doesn’t show it of course.\nWith her hands, she averts the offer, smiles and looks away.\n“Don’t worry,” she says quickly and greets another parent. <\/p>\n\n

Anna thinks Hanan is reacting strangely and she is not clear.\n“Fleur has been invited to a birthday party at the Efteling – super sweet, but how expensive! I barely know Hanan, so I’d like to pay for Fleur’s ticket. I feel just a little more comfortable with that.” <\/p>\n\n

Where is the connection?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

In the Netherlands, it is very common to share the bill.\nTikkie was invented here!\nAnd the English talk about ‘going Dutch’, sharing the bill jointly.\nVery practical and especially no loose ends!\nFor people from a we-culture is very uncomfortable.\nIn an I-culture it’s just clear.\nEveryone pays for themselves. <\/p>\n\n

As a result, Fleur’s mother ignores the hospitality Hanan wants to show.\nShe finally has the opportunity to do so, and she is proud.\nShe spares no expense.\nAnna’s question is very direct and insulting to Hanan.\nDoes she think Hanan is not willing to do this for her daughter?\nOr that she can’t afford it?\nAll sorts of feelings suddenly come into play for Hanan.\nBut she doesn’t show them in a direct way.\nTo prevent either party from losing face, she avoids further details and says something like “we’ll see later, don’t worry, or next time. <\/p>\n\n

Then the trick is to listen between the lines.\nAnna might feel Hanan’s shame.\nOr might appreciate the pride.\nBut that is only after she has asked the question.\nEven better is to leave this alone and come back to it separately later, or ask now if there is anything more she can do.\nWith that question, Hanan can do much more than Anna thinks.\nFor example, answer that this way everything is fine, or that she is very happy for Fleur to be spoiled by Hanan and Anna today. <\/p>\n\n

That might leave Anna with the idea that she owes Hanan because of that expensive Efteling ticket? But that’s her problem. A good guest knows how to enjoy hospitality unconditionally. Cost is not important in a we-society and certainly not how it is distributed.<\/p>\n\n

In short<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

For Anna: <\/p>\n\n