{"id":3060,"date":"2023-06-11T13:02:56","date_gmt":"2023-06-11T11:02:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.connect2us.eu\/verhalen\/martina-scowls\/"},"modified":"2024-09-11T13:17:57","modified_gmt":"2024-09-11T11:17:57","slug":"martina-scowls","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/stories\/martina-scowls\/","title":{"rendered":"Martina scowls"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Italian Martina recently started working as an au pair for a family with two children: Jan (ten years old) and Pieter (five years old).\nShe is very kind and caring, but tends to get anxious easily.\nAs an au pair, Marina naturally feels responsible for the children under her supervision.\nOne day the boys want to play outside independently in the playground across the street.\nIn their enthusiasm, they run across the street without looking at the cars.\nMartina is startled and angry because the boys are so careless. <\/p>\n\n

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Another view<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

Martina: Jan is old enough to take care of himself.\nHe even walks to school on his own or with friends.\nI am amazed that he has been doing that since he was eight years old!\nIn Italy, that would never happen.\nPeople in traffic don’t pay attention to anything! <\/p>\n\n

Jan: Martina is very sweet.\nWe are lucky to have such a nice nanny, only sometimes she just gets angry and we don’t understand why.\nFrom mom and dad we are allowed a lot, and they let us be free in what we do.\nBut she acts so difficult sometimes.\nIt feels like she’s always worrying about things our parents don’t worry about. <\/p>\n\n

The circumstances<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

Right in front of their house is a crosswalk.\nThe people who live there know to drive slower on that part of the street, so the children feel safe crossing freely.\nIt is also a 30-kilometer zone.\nMartina knows about this rule, but she doesn’t trust the motorists.\nAt that very moment, the bus arrives and stops at the bus stop, perhaps without noticing the children crossing the road!\nWhat about the other car?\nIt does drive slowly but who knows, maybe that woman is looking the other way or is on an app!\nMartina is startled and angry, panicking.\n‘That’s not normal, is it?\nHow can those boys be so careless?’ <\/p>\n\n

Explanation<\/h3>\n\n

Of course, it is natural for everyone to be concerned about children.\nEspecially when you have responsibility over other people’s children!\nWe can’t always explain everything with culture either.\nOne person is more concerned than another.\nOne child looks out better than the other.\nOne family lives on a busier road than another.\nThere are so many factors not related to culture. <\/p>\n\n

Yet the basic confidence that “everything will be all right” is different in Italy than in the Netherlands.\nIn Holland, people see fewer dangers and parents encourage their children to go out and explore the world independently.\nThere is less fear of the unknown.\nIn a culture where people prefer to avoid that uncertainty, such as Italy, parents tend to warn their children of all the possible dangers in the world and monitor the situation more closely.\nThere is little trust other motorists, for example.\nThat’s why Martina is startled and angry. <\/p>\n\n

Where is the connection?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

So the background of the difference in how safety is perceived is partly cultural.\nMartina thinks it is really dangerous and she obviously feels responsible for the safety of the children.\nBut it would help her if she realizes that what is perceived as “dangerous” varies by culture.\nThat will give her more confidence in the attitudes of the children, their parents and other road users. <\/p>\n\n

But parents also play a role here.\nIn the Netherlands, children are used to playing in the street, pedestrian crossings are respected and local traffic keeps to the speed limit.\nThe crosswalk is less dangerous than Martina thinks.\nAt the same time, they can also support Martina in her desire to keep emphasizing to the children that it is better to wait and pay attention to traffic before crossing the street. <\/p>\n\n

In short<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

For Martina: <\/p>\n\n