{"id":3083,"date":"2022-09-08T14:09:04","date_gmt":"2022-09-08T12:09:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.connect2us.eu\/verhalen\/housemates\/"},"modified":"2024-09-11T13:18:16","modified_gmt":"2024-09-11T11:18:16","slug":"housemates","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/stories\/housemates\/","title":{"rendered":"Housemates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It has been three years since Marianne moved from Apeldoorn to Rotterdam.\nShe likes it there.\nFor the past two years, she has rented a room in a small townhouse for students.\nShe lives on the first floor with a roommate, and there are three more floors where six others live.\nMarianne loves that she has her own quiet space, which makes her feel at home. <\/p>\n\n

At some point, however, Marianne’s roommate found another, larger room in Rotterdam and moved out.\nMarianne gets a new roommate; from Mexico, her name is Maria.\nMaria and Marianne got along well at first, but then a problem arose. <\/p>\n\n

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Another view <\/h3>\n\n

Maria is quite loud and likes to listen to Mexican music.\nMarianne soon wonders what is wrong with this woman who just moved in with her?\n“I have to prepare for my exams because I am graduating soon. Now I can hardly concentrate on my studies because of the noise she makes all the time!”\nShe has already tried to talk to her, but Maria doesn’t seem to care! <\/p>\n\n

Maria is unaware of any harm.\n“Oh, I love Rotterdam! It’s so peaceful, and there are so many places to explore!”\nAt the same time, she misses her home very much, especially her family.\nFortunately, there is facetime!\nShe tries to talk to her sister and friends as often as possible, and her parents call regularly.\nAt night, because that’s when they have lunch break in Mexico.\nAnd on weekends, it’s totally easy.\nActually, they do expect her to call; it was hard enough that they let Maria go.\nMaria also has double feelings.\nShe wants to build a life of her own and have many friends in Rotterdam, but many people are so on their own!\nHer roommates, too.\nSo she doesn’t learn Dutch and still falls back on other students from Latin America.\nAnd the other students in her house are so easily irritated, including Marianne!\n“They seem lonely and not happy. I will do my best and turn my music down a bit, but I can’t stop talking to my family and friends.” <\/p>\n\n

The connection<\/h3>\n\n

Maria is caught between two worlds.\nShe hasn’t been in Holland long and is still clinging to the “us” feeling she grew up with in Mexico.\nOn the other hand, she also wants to break free from that and build her life in Europe.\nShe has to deal with the strong “me” culture of the Netherlands.\nTo feel at home, Maria listens to her own music and calls Mexico every day.\nI can imagine that is quite loud for Dutch people.\nEspecially with facetime!\nMaria is used to a very lively environment with people talking, laughing or arguing, and with music playing all day. <\/p>\n\n

It is not ill will on Mary’s part.\nNor is it Marianne’s.\nThey just have a completely different view of being together.\nMarianne wants to be alone and able to concentrate.\nPeople from an “us” society find that they are introverted and fear loneliness.\nHolland always talks about sociability, but it is not always perceived that way by people from a “we” society.\nThat is why Maria adjusted her behavior only slightly and the problem persisted. <\/p>\n\n

The Netherlands is distinctly individualistic.\nWe pride ourselves on sociability, but on our terms.\nMoreover, it is a choice to participate or not.\nIn a ‘we’ society, it is also more difficult to withdraw.\nThat is not easily accepted.\nThat social pressure is the flip side of the ‘we’ society.” <\/p>\n\n

Very double all for the housemates.\nMaria and Marianne must realize that there is a great divide between what they experience as cozy noise.\nAll day music in the common room and conversations with family and friends can be delightful for some and evoke feelings of belonging and happiness.\nFor others, loud music can lead to irritation, loss of concentration or stress. <\/p>\n\n

Explanation<\/h3>\n\n

In general, people in Mexico(we-culture<\/a>) are more involved in each other’s lives.\nThey talk, hug, argue, listen or listen to music together.\nPeople in the Netherlands(I culture<\/a>) are more on their own.\nOf course they like music!\nBut they choose their own music and often put on headphones. <\/p>\n\n

In addition to the difference in the I and we culture, there is a difference in exuberance a dimension Hofstede calls hedonism.\nThe Mexican of Mary culture is more exuberant.\nCombined with the we culture a lot of hustle and bustle.\nAt least compared to Marianne’s subdued, more disciplined I culture. <\/p>\n\n

From these cultural differences often comes the most surprise and irritation.\nValue judgments such as irresponsible, noisy, stressed, boring, lonely and tiring are then quickly made. <\/p>\n\n

<\/a>Want to read more about culture dimensions?<\/a><\/p>\n\n

In short<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n

For Marianne: <\/p>\n\n