{"id":3087,"date":"2017-06-14T04:48:12","date_gmt":"2017-06-14T02:48:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.connect2us.eu\/verhalen\/a-friendly-smile\/"},"modified":"2024-09-11T14:02:02","modified_gmt":"2024-09-11T12:02:02","slug":"a-friendly-smile","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/stories\/a-friendly-smile\/","title":{"rendered":"A friendly smile"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Manny is 19 years old and is from the Philippines.\nHe recently moved to the Netherlands.\nThe weather is nice and he is strolling through his new city, Haarlem.\nHe knows he looks good and <\/span>embeds the Dutch women very nice.\nThey seem to be very open. <\/span>ls he walks past a terrace, a young woman looks at him <\/span>and smiles kindly.<\/span><\/p>\n\n

Another view<\/h3>\n\n

“How nice that she’s smiling,” Manny thought, what a friendly smile. “Maybe she wants to get to know me!”\nHe walks back and sits down next to her to have a chat. But she seems angry and tells him to go away! Manny doesn’t understand. He doesn’t want to be a burden! “But then why is she smiling at me, playing a game with me? <\/span>“<\/p>\n\n

Esther, is the name of the girl on the terrace.\nShe is sitting in the sunshine on a terrace and then a boy passes by wearing a jacket just like one of her friends.\n“Nice jacket is that!”, she thinks and smiles at him.\nBut then the boy comes up to her and sits down next to her just like that!\nEsther felt a little threatened and tell him to go away.\n“I don’t mean to be rotten, but I can just smile at someone, can’t I? <\/span>” she thinks.<\/p>\n\n

The circumstances<\/h3>\n\n

You never know why a young woman smiles at a young man.\nMaybe he looks good, maybe she just wants to be nice, maybe she likes his jacket.\nIt is good to know that Dutch women are very good at making eye contact and smiling, without wanting to create expectations in men.\nFor Dutch women, that feels like freedom.\nThe woman is free to make and break contact at any time. <\/span><\/p>\n\n

Where is the connection?<\/h3>\n\n

Manny must realize that eye contact and a friendly smile usually don’t mean much in Holland.\nPeople in Holland tend to have easy, but more superficial, contact with strangers.\nHe might walk on, or, while continuing to do his own thing, sit in another spot on the terrace to see if she makes contact again. <\/span><\/p>\n\n

For Esther, it can be nice to realize that (eye) contact in other, especially us-cultures, has more connotations.\nNot necessarily sexual, but to make friends, to be together.\nHaving a moment to yourself is often translated as being lonely.\nInstead of feeling threatened, she can kindly tell Manny that there is a misunderstanding and that she prefers to be alone. <\/span><\/p>\n\n

Explanation<\/h2>\n\n

In the Dutch I-society, people value time and space for yourself.\nSitting alone on a terrace has nothing to do with loneliness, in most cases.\nMoreover, the Netherlands has a culture where equality is important.\nAlso between men and women.\nWomen choose their own moments to accept or seek contact.\nAs a result, “signs,” such as a friendly smile, which have quite a charge in other cultures, are often not important in the Netherlands. <\/p>\n\n

Awareness of and mutual respect for these differences help Manny and Esther move toward each other and be better neighbors to each other.<\/p>\n\n

Want to read more about culture dimensions?<\/a><\/p>\n\n

Important to know:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

This anecdote is based on stories shared with us.\nConnect2Us strives to highlight the dilemma from both sides and not to label people or suggest that one or the other should behave differently.\nWe see in our daily intercultural work that awareness by those involved is enough to move toward each other without pretending to be very different. Connect2Us aims to help readers recognize and avoid prejudice. Read about prejudice, discrimination and racism here.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Manny is 19 years old and is from the Philippines. He recently moved to the Netherlands. The weather is nice and he is strolling through his new city, Haarlem. He knows he looks good and embeds the Dutch women very nice. They seem to be very open. ls he walks past a terrace, a young […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3089,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_vp_format_video_url":"","_vp_image_focal_point":[],"footnotes":""},"portfolio_category":[],"portfolio_tag":[],"class_list":["post-3087","portfolio","type-portfolio","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"blocksy_meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio\/3087","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/portfolio"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3087"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio\/3087\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3091,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio\/3087\/revisions\/3091"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3089"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3087"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"portfolio_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio_category?post=3087"},{"taxonomy":"portfolio_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio_tag?post=3087"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}