{"id":3144,"date":"2018-01-24T14:04:59","date_gmt":"2018-01-24T12:04:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.connect2us.eu\/verhalen\/a-conversation-or-noise\/"},"modified":"2024-09-11T14:02:19","modified_gmt":"2024-09-11T12:02:19","slug":"a-conversation-or-noise","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/stories\/a-conversation-or-noise\/","title":{"rendered":"A conversation or noise?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Adebiyi and his wife Adeola have been in the Netherlands for some time.\nThe decision to leave their home in Nigeria was difficult.\nThey have since started a store and live in an apartment in an apartment building where all the front doors are connected by a gallery.\nOne evening Adebiyi and Adeola have some friends over, but the Dutch neighbors wonder if they hear a conversation or noise? <\/p>\n\n

Another view<\/h3>\n\n

Kees, the neighbor looks out the window and marvels.\n“We met Adebiyi and his wife the day they moved in,” he reflects.\n“Friendly people and we bonded right away.”\nBut now it turns out that they regularly invite friends over late into the night.\nAnd when they finally say goodbye, they have a lot to say to each other on the gallery.\nKees has indicated to Adebiyi that those long, noisy, conversations keep the neighbors awake but nothing has changed. <\/p>\n\n

Like Adeola, Adebiyi is happy in the Netherlands, but of course they also miss life in Nigeria.\nWhen they have family or friends visiting, they often talk about the old days.\nThey share new experiences and sing Nigerian songs.\nThis makes them happy and they forget about time.\n“Being together with friends and family is important, and I can’t imagine that this bothers anyone,” Adebiyi thought when his neighbor recently said something about noise.\nNoise?\nWe were having such a good time!\nIt’s so quiet on that gallery otherwise, too!\nAdebiyi does accept now that Kees can’t sleep and he tries to be considerate.\n“But can’t he also be a little happy for us that we’re having a nice, cozy time – after all we’ve been through?” <\/p>\n\n

Where is the connection?<\/h3>\n\n

Adebiyi and his wife are trying to start a new life in a new environment.\nThey are trying to adjust, but they also miss their old life, which is why they meet regularly with old friends and family. <\/p>\n\n

In the Netherlands, there is usually an unwritten rule that from 10 p.m. onwards, sleep begins: no more noise and no more nuisance for the neighbors.\nKees is irritated because there is noise outside after ten o’clock that keeps him awake.\nAdebiyi knows very well that sleep is necessary, but he does not realize that someone is bothered by the conversations. <\/p>\n\n

Why does Kees call that noise?\nHolland prides itself so much on the word sociability, doesn’t it?\nFor him, talking and singing with others is an important part of a happy life, even if it is in the middle of the night.\nNigeria has a we culture.\nRegular get-togethers with friends and family strengthen the group feeling and the position of everyone within the group.\nThis happens spontaneously and not at a specific time and can therefore continue late into the night.\nGreetings and goodbyes are important, sometimes cumbersome, rituals and often last longer than in I cultures. <\/p>\n\n

In an I culture, like the Dutch one, people plan their days and we even make appointments with friends with a start and end time.\nGreetings and farewell rituals are short and less emotional and are not meant to emphasize an important relationship.\nSee you again.\nBye!” <\/p>\n\n

It is not unwillingness on Adebiyil’s part.\nKees is welcome to say something to him about his sleeping times.\nThen, if things are not quiet enough, Kees can signal him, with a text message or phone call.\nAnd Adebiyi can tell about the past and how important visits from his friends and family are to him and his wife.\nAnd of course invite Kees and his wife so they can then understand him and Adeola better and share in their new neighbors’ fun and friends.\nMore importantly, Adebiyi and Adeola can say goodbye inside their apartment and not outside on the gallery where everyone hears. <\/p>\n\n

In short<\/h3>\n\n

For Kees: <\/p>\n\n