{"id":3154,"date":"2017-05-25T10:17:28","date_gmt":"2017-05-25T08:17:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.connect2us.eu\/verhalen\/where-can-i-sit\/"},"modified":"2024-09-11T14:02:53","modified_gmt":"2024-09-11T12:02:53","slug":"where-can-i-sit","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/stories\/where-can-i-sit\/","title":{"rendered":"Where can I sit?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n

Anxhela goes to visit old friends from Albania, Dea and Ardit, in Rotterdam.\nShe lives in Tilburg.\nThe train is the easiest way for her to travel to Rotterdam.\nAnxhela gets on the train and sees that it is crowded and the seats are occupied.\nWell occupied….\nThere are coats and bags on seats next to people.\n“No one is offering to clear a seat. Everyone is just on their phones, or reading a book, or looking outside.”\nAnxhela feels uncomfortable and uncertain and actually a little left out.\n“Where can I sit?” <\/p>\n\n

A somewhat elderly train passenger sits wide-eyed and looks out.\nPooh, finally he is on the train.\nThat was rushing.\n“Hopefully no one will sit next to me, or worse: make small talk. I’m really not waiting for that after a stressful morning. The silence compartment was already full unfortunately.” <\/p>\n\n

Anxhela sees him and walks quickly through.\nPerhaps he is an important man.\nI dare not ask anything. <\/p>\n\n

The connection<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Anxhela is looking for a gesture or fleeting eye contact that invites to sit next to someone.\nBut most people on the train are just doing their own thing and like those two seats to themselves. <\/p>\n\n

On many trains or buses, everyone sits alone and little is spoken except by phone or with an acquaintance.\nA moment to yourself. <\/p>\n\n

This is normal in the Netherlands, but not usually in we-cultures.\nAlways together.\nBeing alone is hard to accept.\nThen there is something.\nWhere one person likes to be by himself, another thinks that person is lonely.\nThose feelings are far apart. <\/p>\n\n

And that doesn’t have to change, of course.\nIt is as it is.\nBut Anxhela, of course, has to claim her place and sit somewhere.\nJust like everyone else.\nBesides, no one here is impressed by an older man who has his bag next to him on the seat.\nShe can just claim that spot, despite the man’s body language.\nAddressing people, then it is immediately clear.\nBut that is not the natural way and that it takes effort for someone from a hierarchical we-culture. <\/p>\n\n

This is almost true of all we-cultures.\nThose are always more hierarchical than ours.\nSo when we think about the differences between the we culture and Dutch I culture, the fact that we in the Netherlands are also much more attached to equality always plays a role.\nSo we feel free to address most people directly. <\/p>\n\n

Want to read more about culture dimensions?<\/a><\/p>\n\n

Important to know<\/h2>\n\n

This anecdote is based on stories shared with us.\nConnect2Us strives to highlight the dilemma from both sides and not to label people or suggest that one or the other should behave differently.\nWe see in our daily intercultural work that awareness by those involved is enough to move toward each other without pretending to be very different. Connect2Us aims to help readers recognize and avoid prejudice. Read about prejudice, discrimination and racism here.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Anxhela goes to visit old friends from Albania, Dea and Ardit, in Rotterdam. She lives in Tilburg. The train is the easiest way for her to travel to Rotterdam. Anxhela gets on the train and sees that it is crowded and the seats are occupied. Well occupied…. There are coats and bags on seats next […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":3155,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_vp_format_video_url":"","_vp_image_focal_point":[],"footnotes":""},"portfolio_category":[],"portfolio_tag":[],"class_list":["post-3154","portfolio","type-portfolio","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"blocksy_meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio\/3154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/portfolio"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3154"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio\/3154\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3156,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio\/3154\/revisions\/3156"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3155"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"portfolio_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio_category?post=3154"},{"taxonomy":"portfolio_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/portfolio_tag?post=3154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}