{"id":3168,"date":"2017-05-25T10:20:37","date_gmt":"2017-05-25T08:20:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.connect2us.eu\/verhalen\/the-meeting\/"},"modified":"2024-09-11T14:03:07","modified_gmt":"2024-09-11T12:03:07","slug":"the-meeting","status":"publish","type":"portfolio","link":"https:\/\/connect2us.eu\/en\/stories\/the-meeting\/","title":{"rendered":"The meeting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Hanan was invited to an internal meeting at the asylum center, along with the staff and a few other refugees.\nShe did not expect an invitation, and learned that she got it because she is a woman and has experience as a restaurant manager in Syria.\nHanan listens carefully to what is being said.\nThe team leader, Hans Visser, opens the meeting and says they will first discuss handling incoming mail and emails.\n“How can we answer them faster?” <\/p>\n\n

To Hanan’s surprise, one after another begins to talk, and the discussion goes on for a very long time.\nSometimes the speakers interrupt each other.\nAt one point, the team leader asks Hanan’s opinion.\nShe doesn’t want to offend anyone and carefully tries to say what she thinks, although she doesn’t think it’s at all important to share it in this way.\nOne of the staff members says that what she suggests is not possible, and again there is discussion in the group.\nHanan is ashamed of her idea and confused about the turn of events.\n“What a chaotic meeting, why doesn’t the team leader just say how he wants it?” <\/p>\n\n

Hans welcomes Hanan’s presence.\nHe wants a good representation of all asylum seekers at the table.\nNone of the women had come forward, so then we asked Hanan.\nHe thinks she is a bit quiet, but of course it is also the first time.\nHe will talk to her separately afterwards to hear how she thought it went.\nHans is happy with the fruitful discussion, everyone contributes and we have many ideas on the table that we can move forward with. <\/p>\n\n

The connection<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

Hanan’s experience is very typical.\nMany newcomers recognize her surprise.\nThe meeting seem like chaos.\nEveryone is allowed and often wants to give their opinion!\nEveryone gets to pee on it.\nA proverb that does apply here.\nFor most people in the Netherlands it is important that they can have their say before a joint decision is made.\nAnd also to hear all stakeholders.\nThere can be fierce discussions with arguments and counterarguments. <\/p>\n\n

The person running the meeting let it happen and even encouraged the discussion.\nHe also wanted Hanan’s opinion.\nWhich, by the way, was immediately rejected by a staff member.\nVery direct. <\/p>\n\n

Holland’s egalitarian society makes a difference here, but so does individualism.\nThe team leader helps start the discussion, but does not decide alone.\nEveryone gets to participate and wants to: individualistic. <\/p>\n\n

And this is all enhanced by the search for consensus.\nThe motivation is not your own success, but joint solutions.\nPreferably without winners and losers. <\/p>\n\n

A great deal comes together in this story.\nIt shows how complex intercultural communication is and that all the social dilemmas come into play all the time.\nBecause we haven’t talked about avoiding that uncertainty.\nWhat can be uncomfortable for Hanan is not only the conversation to leadership and talking through each other, but also the lack of structure of the meeting. <\/p>\n\n

Next time, Hanan might try to be more forthcoming.\nMaybe she can repeat her point of view again, or give another argument or reason why what she says does matter.\nShe can also show when she agrees or disagrees with something, by nodding or shaking her head, for example. <\/p>\n\n

And team leader Hans can pay better attention to ensuring that Hanan comes into her power by being alert to her body language and creating space for her.\nHe does not have to say this explicitly, but he can take it into account through conversation techniques.\nThe colleague’s immediate reaction has a big impact on Hanan.\nHans does not want her to stay away next time because she is embarrassed.\nThat is where he can intervene and show some leadership by giving Hanan a chance to explain more. <\/p>\n\n

In short<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

For Hans: <\/p>\n\n